What is really going on here?

Today I will attempt to blend some practical thoughts with some fringe ideas to make sense of this reality and to live a more fruitful life.

This summer has been a bit of a blur for me. I have been trying my best to commit to a more centered life but have been distracted every step of the way. Sleep deprivation or lack of quality sleep really affects me and has curbed my thoughts and motivation.

I also feel like the ‘waking up’ process can be pretty brutal. The ego doesn’t go without a fight. As it begins to fight for survival, it hits you the hardest with thoughts and emotions designed to distract you based on poorly programmed patterns and behaviors from the past.

Michael Singer, as my readers know, has been instrumental in helping me become more spiritual in nature. I also think that even though the Matrix film may be fictional, it is a great analogy and reference to use in navigating the struggles of the personal mind. How so?

Singer (author of the Untethered Soul) deals in science and practicality. He believes the mind is not the problem. The mind is a brilliant instrument. He has a point. After all, the mind has created works of art, built rocket ships and solves seemingly impossible equations. It is also the same mind that gave birth to AI. However, the abstract mind is very different from the personal mind. The personal mind and ‘ego’ is generally not your friend. Let’s dig into that…

From a very early age we built up a self-concept, events happened on the outside that we gave more importance to. This sense of self, very much based on thoughts and emotions, are built around these patterns and impressions stored from the past. Most of them are negative. Thoughts and emotions that keep circling/looping around, according to Singer, are the mind’s way of trying to purge them. That’s right, it wants out! But we are in here (the witness/consciousness) using our will power to suppress and repress them. That keeps the energy alive and circling around itself, never able to liberate (until we process the emotion and let things go). This is primarily the reason we are all such neurotic messes.

Why the Matrix reference? Through things like meditation, you figure out that the only way to recharge is to center yourself. That means less distractions. Singer again mentions that ‘distraction’ is a very spiritual word. Anything that distracts you from the center, or the Higher self (source of consciousness) takes you off the spiritual path. That is where the Matrix reference comes in for me. If we are indeed in some kind of simulation that, for the most part, we have little to no control over (reality), why are we lost and distracted by it so much that we give up our vital power? This, in my mind, is the game and what it means to wake up. You have to be able to discipline the wild horse of the mind, let it distract you less and reign it in. This takes incredible discipline and an immense ability to surrender to what is taking place around you. As you get better at this, you can also learn to be more present.

Again, I have discussed it before, but Castaneda wrote about the Flyers (or Predators) and stated that they couldn’t compute awareness. The ability to remain centered. They didn’t feed on those who had woken up. They didn’t know how. This is the personal mind. As you start to kill off the ego and stop identifying so much with your thoughts and emotions (it’s tough as you’re forced to stare at them every day), the real you starts to flourish and build in power. You are the spirit or the Atman (in Hinduism). Once you wake up to this fact, you become more powerful and stop giving away your vitality.

Essentially waking up is to recognize that the work to be done is inside, not outside. It means clearing bad programs from your mind/body, which takes a lot of time and effort. Again, discipline is key. Unpredictability was something else (change your routine) that Castaneda said confused the Predators.

Back to the practical teachings, the way Singer says to reboot is to relax, let things flow naturally and come up by themselves. You will be triggered (life is your guru) but instead of fighting or resisting uncomfortable vibrations, let them literally touch you to the depth of your being (process them). Will it be painful? Of course. If it was stored with pain, it’s coming back with pain. You have to relax, breathe through the discomfort, and eventually over time this charge will begin to dissipate and you will feel a lot more open inside. That is the path to liberation and in my opinion, the meaning of life. Earth is a place where souls are sent to evolve. Evolution is waking up to your true nature and dissolving your shadow (ego).

Still on the personal mind, but with more of a simulation/Matrix twist. Time to get weird. 

I personally think something happened in the human timeline and our genes were experimented on. We are hybrids of some kind. This is why we still have our very primitive/animalistic habits and instincts yet fused with some kind of biological super-computer. Having a computer as powerful of the mind is both awesome and terrifying at the same time. 

I feel that through the personal mind and its stored patterns, we are all at the mercy of some kind of algorithmic AI entity that serves us exactly what it thinks will distract us and keep us weak and docile. That is why we have to remove the personal mind to the best of our abilities. Any attention you give to the machine (all this personal righteousness) is just fuel for it, at the expense of your precious energy. Singer says, once you can successfully break free of the personal mind (stop identifying with thoughts and emotions, realizing you are the witness), the default state is Eternal Conscious Ecstasy. Tough to imagine right? I do believe it’s achievable but there’s a lot of work to be done.

External vices like sex, drugs, alcohol, wealth and fame are all just artificial creations designed to harvest your energy. It doesn’t mean that you have to renounce the world. Singer says our world could be God’s idea of Disney World. It just means that without the filter of the personal mind, you can enjoy life in a more detached way, don’t cling to or resist anything. Look at life through the lens of non-duality, giving no more weight to any given moment. After all, it’s just a motion picture. Keeping in the center to the best of your ability (remaining in the seat of witness consciousness) means your life will be much more joyful and fulfilling. Do not take the bait when life tries to rattle you.

The best approach I’ve found to this is to treat yourself with respect. Prioritize good habits, sleeping and nutrition. Putting others before yourself is also a big thing. The ability to truly show compassion. I understand when your head is barely above water this is hard, if not seemingly impossible to do. It’s best to work on yourself with the intention of becoming a servant in life, to help others choose a better path. I am personally making small but palpable improvements and understand that is does seem a constant battle. Life is tough. But some days you notice that you’re a little less reactive to certain things than you used to be. 

Life is your sport. By learning to let things go, you get much better at dealing with things in a calm and centered way. As you get better at that your energy increases and you are a much better person to be around. That’s when you can become a giver.

So to conclude, be wary of reality draining you. Yes, you’ll be targeted with very personal thoughts and emotions, but this is based on stored impressions from the past. Keep an open heart, live in surrender and relax when difficult things come back up. Maybe even more importantly, stop letting new things come in that bother you or your mind is only going to be one thing… bothered. Once you stop letting new junk come in on a daily, you can start clearing out the garbage of the past. Your mind is a single-occupancy home. And you need to take out the trash! Once you do it becomes a lot nicer to live in there… Much luck everyone.